Learning to let go. . . .

I am not a good sick person.  There I have said it.  I have said this to my husband for the past 4 weeks as well.

I get emotional and weepy when I'm sick.  It's pretty pitiful.



Many of you know we are expecting our third little bundle of joy.  Soon after hearing this GREAT news, the all day nausea and extreme (I feel like I have been tranquillised) exhaustion came on, stealing of bit of the joy I was feeling.  Don't get me wrong, I couldn't be more excited we are having another little one, but at the moment it's all I can do to get through each day.

With my other two pregnancies it was smooth sailing, a small bit of nausea in the morning, maybe a bit more tired that usual, but nothing like this.  It came on early and strong.

These last few weeks have been a humbling experience for me.  I am not a person who asks for help easily, I am a goer, a doer, active and involved.

At not even 5 weeks I was overcome with all day nausea, the kind where you know you need to eat but nothing at all sounds even the bit appetising.   Saltine crackers and rice cakes became my best friends.  This might have been manageable on it's own, but that combined with the extreme exhaustion was too much.

I was feeling so sick and so tired that even walking from the bed to the couch left me feeling terrible.

Luckily I had a wonderful sister and friends who stepped up to help.  They arranged several meals a week for us, have offered to help with the little people, and who have offered words of prayers and encouragement.  It has been so wonderful having meals during the week and not having to worry about finding the energy to get up and make them.

I sought some advice from a friend who I knew had been very sick during her pregnancy and she offered such words of encouragement.

1. This is only for a season.  I think so many time in life when we are struggling with whatever it may be, spiritual needs, physical ailments, etc that we try to maintain a certain standard for ourselves and when we can't do it all when get upset.  It's time to remember that it's only for a season.  We may have to lower our expectations of ourselves, let things go that we normally wouldn't.  Let the kids watch a movie when normally we wouldn't have the tv on, let others serve and support us.  Sometimes we have to kick it into survival mode and live through the season.

2.  Let go of the guilt.  This was a big one for me!!  Guilt in having others have to do things for me, guilt in not being as active and involved a parent as I normally am, guilt at having Ed having to pick up all the slack.  I have to let go of that.  I need to remember that this is where I am right now and it's but for a season, that this gives others a chance to love and serve, and that the little people are more resilient than I give them credit for.


There is beginning to be a light at the end of this dark tunnel.  I am feeling a bit better most days now and able to get up and do a bit more.  I couldn't have done it without all the meals and help and especially without Ed.

He has been so patient and amazing.  He's been understanding when I break down into tears 3 or 4 times a day.  Encouraged me to rest as much as possible, taken over breakfast duty which is typically when I'm feeling the worst.  He's taken over more of the household duties as well as doing all his work as well.  I couldn't ask for a better partner and encourager through all of this.

Asking for help doesn't come easily for me, which is why it was so wonderful when I was surprised by my sister organizing meals for us.  I can't even begin to express the gratitude I've felt for all of them either, it has made such a huge difference for us.  It makes me realise all the more how these small things can mean so much to someone.

So I encourage you,  look for someone around you who could use a little help and give it, it probably won't take a whole lot of energy for you but will make a huge difference for them.